Soccer-loving Bankers Pillows

'Would you care to settle the matter of your loan with a penalty shoot-out?'

'Greek debt was downgraded for the 11th time this week, by S&P, to P.O.S. Negative Infinity, meaning it's safer to eat uranium, than own Greek debt.'

'The bank says they're freezing my assets! I don't understand: They've always been frozen...'

Born to raise interest rates.

'I hope it's fixed soon. I miss the convenience and friendly beep.'

I have a dream.

"Happiness is more important than money,but it is easier to count money."

Unleashing the dogs of regulation.

"Are you going to believe me or a bunch of hysterical bank tellers?"

Actually, I'm not aware that it's a constitutional right to get an allowance...

"You want fries with that? Oops... that's my other job."

'Oog decided to become a predatory LENDER.'

"If a higher interest rate is a sign of a stronger economy, you must think I'm golden."

Thumbs Up Banker

'Just because my husband works in a bank, it does not mean to say he's a fat-cat...!'

'I'm conducting my own stress test!'

'No can do, pal.'

HSBC Scandal

Extreme Accounting!

'Jason feels insecure if he's too far from his money... but electronic bank statements have cured that!'

'You asked for your bank account balance...it just went 'poof' and dripped down to zero!'

First savings & bone.

'What do you mean overdrawn, I still have 12 cheques left.'

'It's Mr Nutkin Sir, he'd like to withdraw the contents of his safety deposit box. Same as last year.'

Theatre football.

'I'm sorry sir, I'm afraid you're overdrawn.'

'I was a bank clerk, and one day I charged the King $17.50 for a bounced check.'

"Lately our focus has been trending away from people who want to borrow our money."

'I see you have no collateral.'

'I said... oh, forget it!'

'I don't see anything funny about our accounts being frozen!'

'On second thought Mr. Akimoto, perhaps we can give you a loan to open a karate club.'