Soccer Joke Connoisseur Gifts

Funky Facts: Football.

'Wait! Let's see if he gets up on his own.'

"Before we begin. . . terms and conditions. . ."

'Robert.....Why do you think they call slanted letters italics.'

Footballer holding team mates bum while preparing for a penalty shoot out

'And remember...no sudden moves in the shoot out.'

'Focus! Focus! You've just gotta' forget about their home ground advantage.

"Hey! I know that handwriting, St Valentines day last year!!!"

Football Bomb

'It's great that you want a career in football, Timothy, but don't you think being a striker would be more fun than being a goalpost.'

"When did this game get started?"

Ref shows footballer green card.

"I asked for a Hexagon and you built me a pentagon - of course you cut corners!"

'You see, I would make a great goalkeeper...'

'Now that's what I call a tackle, Brian'

'As an exercise I placed eleven dustbins on the pitch and made the team dribble around them...The bins won 5-0.'

'Remember it's YOUR benefit game-go out and foul whoever you like!'

The defence were confident about their offside trap.

FIFA scandal

VAR - a nail in the football coffin...

"Hey, after this, do you want to walk into a bar?"

'Remember, it's YOUR benefit game - go out and foul whoever you like!'

What's that annoying buzzing noise? (Vuvuzelas)

A man on the corner sells 'Lead Balloons' with a sign 'Lead Balloons great for parties!'

'You can't go around writing graffiti on every wall you see!' (Football defensive wall).

'Nesbitt will do all our Monday morning quarterbacking.'

'Football school pranks'

'Foot balling phillistines, how soon they forget.'

'Bavetta! The foul is called 'holding.' Stop calling it 'touchy-feely.''

'We're the only country where cats refer to this as playing with a ball of string. Everywhere else it's known as football.'