Sober Anniversary Gifts

'I dreamed I joined a twelve-step program.'

Real Hopscotch: 'A 12-Step Program for the addiction to scotch.'

Alcoholics Anonymous - 'Nowadays every bottle seems to say 'drink me'.'

"Right it's decided! We are both sober for October and Stoptober. Then Movember and Decembeard and Dry January, then..."

"Marriage and water, I find, don't mix."

"I'll just have a Diet Coke. I'm in the middle of my novel."

"Over the long haul, it's been a long haul."

'I can give up drinking and lead a normal life?- Make up your mind, will you?'

"I'm making an effort to limit my dependence on foreign vodka.

"About time!"

'Well at least we know there's no chance of either of us being over the drink-drive limit!'

'Hi, my name's Bernard and I'm an alcoholic...'

"My name is Andrew, and I need a ride."

'I've been clean for six months now.'

Turkey...cold turkey.

'Could you put me into an induced coma for four weeks?'

'OK, so, where were we? Oh right - I'm looking for someone to fill in for me while I'm in rehab.'

Drink kills.

A slap-up meal.

Official Whore Artist/Official Piss Artist

'Drinking or passive drinking table ?'

'My name's Steve, and I'm an alcoholic. And I'm pretty sure the guy vomiting behind my chair is too.'

"If you're so sober, why ain't you rich?"

Designated Drivers Area

"You know what I miss? Those lazy, crazy, hazy days when we were drinking."

"And they said it would never last."

"It's our anniversary, bring us your best bottle of beer."

"How's your dry January going?"

"Honestly, it felt like Dry January was never going to end."

Designated driver at a party.

A conversation between two friends

Spin the Bottle on Student Drinking

"Do we have any for 25 years? That's a good one, sir! I can't wait to tell that to the rest of the staff!!"