Sober Enthusiast Gifts

'Could you put me into an induced coma for four weeks?'

Club Antisocial

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

"Serenity's cool and all, but when do we get to bliss?"

Peace. Love. Light

"Right it's decided! We are both sober for October and Stoptober. Then Movember and Decembeard and Dry January, then..."

"I'll just have a Diet Coke. I'm in the middle of my novel."

"Marriage and water, I find, don't mix."

"She said she wanted to get out of the stressful workplace!"

'I think I've got it.'

'I can give up drinking and lead a normal life?- Make up your mind, will you?'

"Anyone here a 'worthless, no-good drunken bum'?"

"I'm making an effort to limit my dependence on foreign vodka.

Chameleon. Calmer Chameleon. Calmer Calmer Calmer Calmer Calmer Chameleon.

"About time!"

The Zen of Regulation

"My name is Andrew, and I need a ride."

"So how did 'DRY JANUARY' go?"

Real Hopscotch: 'A 12-Step Program for the addiction to scotch.'

'Well at least we know there's no chance of either of us being over the drink-drive limit!'

At the world meditating championships

Turkey...cold turkey.

Drink kills.

Official Whore Artist/Official Piss Artist

"So what brings you to this godforsaken end of the bar?"

'Drinking or passive drinking table ?'

"I'm getting not-so-subtle hints of Dry January remorse, envy and resentment."

'Hey! -- This is supposed to be a spiritual retreat!'

Designated Drivers Area

"If you're so sober, why ain't you rich?"

"You know what I miss? Those lazy, crazy, hazy days when we were drinking."

"When I'm legless, make sure to switch me to the cheaper brands..."

Meditation Class.

'I dreamed I joined a twelve-step program.'

"I have to go. I'm getting a better call."