Sober Enthusiast T-Shirts

'Could you put me into an induced coma for four weeks?'

Club Antisocial

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

"Serenity's cool and all, but when do we get to bliss?"

Peace. Love. Light

"Right it's decided! We are both sober for October and Stoptober. Then Movember and Decembeard and Dry January, then..."

"Marriage and water, I find, don't mix."

"I'll just have a Diet Coke. I'm in the middle of my novel."

'I think I've got it.'

"She said she wanted to get out of the stressful workplace!"

'I can give up drinking and lead a normal life?- Make up your mind, will you?'

"Anyone here a 'worthless, no-good drunken bum'?"

"I'm making an effort to limit my dependence on foreign vodka.

Chameleon. Calmer Chameleon. Calmer Calmer Calmer Calmer Calmer Chameleon.

The Zen of Regulation

"About time!"

"My name is Andrew, and I need a ride."

"So how did 'DRY JANUARY' go?"

'Well at least we know there's no chance of either of us being over the drink-drive limit!'

Real Hopscotch: 'A 12-Step Program for the addiction to scotch.'

At the world meditating championships

Turkey...cold turkey.

Drink kills.

Official Whore Artist/Official Piss Artist

'Drinking or passive drinking table ?'

'Hey! -- This is supposed to be a spiritual retreat!'

"If you're so sober, why ain't you rich?"

"You know what I miss? Those lazy, crazy, hazy days when we were drinking."

Designated Drivers Area

"When I'm legless, make sure to switch me to the cheaper brands..."

Meditation Class.

'I dreamed I joined a twelve-step program.'

"I have to go. I'm getting a better call."