Sober Buddy T-Shirts

"My name is Andrew, and I need a ride."

"I didn't know she could body surf. Did you know she could body surf?"

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

"Stranger, you're sitting in the boss's personal spot. That's why they moved the dart board over your head."

"... And to this day, she still blames the dog!"

'John, I have to get going. Here's my views on politics, sports, and automobiles in case some of the boys come in later.'

'Relax, dude - I got your back.'

"Right it's decided! We are both sober for October and Stoptober. Then Movember and Decembeard and Dry January, then..."

Joe's Bar - Two Kegs Any Style $49.95

Unmanned drones.

"Do you know what we need? We need drinking songs."

"Do you know what girls want?"

"I'll just have a Diet Coke. I'm in the middle of my novel."

'Here comes Ted.'

"Don't attack surfers! You're giving us all a bad name and encouraging culling!"

"I just did a huge one in my diaper."

"I hate arguing with someone who knows what they're talking about."

"Fascinating!"

'Seeing it's your birthday, lets go and get rat arsed.'

The Icebreaker

"Had half of Fox-and-Friends gnawing my ass this morning."

"She's high maintenance. I love her."

"If I ever feel that life's moving too fast, I just stand in the prescriptions queue..."

"What are we doing today?"

'I can give up drinking and lead a normal life?- Make up your mind, will you?'

"I'm making an effort to limit my dependence on foreign vodka.

"About time!"

"Twenty bucks says you can't cross the road!"

"Yup. This is heaven. Free beer and unlimited peanuts."

'You always have an excuse when it's your turn to buy the drinks.'

'Well at least we know there's no chance of either of us being over the drink-drive limit!'

Sports Bar ???

"Have you been telling everyone I'm an idiot?"

'No wonder I never have time to do anything else. I'm a one woman news team.'