Sniffing Sleuth T-Shirts

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

"Look, Professor - a stegosaurus!"

"Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, onion bagel with Nutella and cream cheese, dirt, dirt, dirt..."

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

"Eww - that whale's breath smells awful!" "You could use a breath mint yourself, lady!"

'Have you no common scents?!'

"I'm getting cinnamon, brandy, nutmeg, a hint of Alsatian."

"Do you smell something?"

'No, that's not my shaving lotion. We've been burning cow chips in the wood stove.'

'You've been killing files again.'

'It's for the girl who's in a hurry.'

'Looks like the victim was trying to tell us something,'

The Modern Godot

Uncle Sam is Big Brother.

'(Sniff!)... Hey! Somebody stole my identity!'

"Light at the end of the tunnel!"

"...I suggest we call it Greenspanium"

"I write these in my manager's handwriting, so no one will hate me."

'Remember, all these security cameras are for YOUR protection...otherwise, I'd come over there and smack you.'

F.B.I. An equal opportunity phone tapper without regard to race, sex, or national origin.

'Oh dear. My husband looks suspicious.'

'Wow, Professor Jones, that's an impressive back-of-the-envelope calculation!'

"I hear this place is a hotbed of international pancakes."

"Well done, yes, it's a skunk scent. Concentrate though, can you smell the faint trace of perfume? It's a female skunk..."

I don't trust that guy.

'It's easy to follow the No Deodorant Kid.'

'Don't pay any attention to him . . . his social networking relies on his sense of smell.'

Arthur Conan Doyle

"Young Master downright lied to Mistress! I can smell he didn't use soap or shampoo when he took his bath!"