Smell Sleuth T-Shirts

"Eww - that whale's breath smells awful!" "You could use a breath mint yourself, lady!"

'Why does it always smell so weird at grandma's?'

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

"Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, onion bagel with Nutella and cream cheese, dirt, dirt, dirt..."

'Have you no common scents?!'

"I'm getting cinnamon, brandy, nutmeg, a hint of Alsatian."

'That strange smell, George.. is FRESH AIR!'

"Do you smell something?"

'Is that the smell of fear? Or is it just Meatloaf Monday in the cafeteria?'

'No, that's not my shaving lotion. We've been burning cow chips in the wood stove.'

"I don't feel like going to school. Isn't that a flu-like symptom?"

The FDA studies 'Tobacco'.

'It's for the girl who's in a hurry.'

The Modern Godot

"I made a list of all my symptoms. Lost the list. Can't remember any of my symptoms now."

'Okay - Let's crash that bad boy.'

Uncle Sam is Big Brother.

No, you were supposed to check the doorbell camera before lowering the drawbridge.

'It's nice to meet you Otto. Your scent precedes you.'

'(Sniff!)... Hey! Somebody stole my identity!'

"Uh-oh,...she smells another dog in my portfolio..."

'I say we back off: I can't smell fear at all...'

"I ask you, how can something so cute and soft smell like a bag of Fritos?"

Barristers wearing clothes pegs to overcome a bad smell

"In a nutshell Mr. Beesley, you have hypochondria."

"...I suggest we call it Greenspanium"

Health MOT's will attract 'worried well': I've looked up my symptoms on the internet and I think I've got ALL these life threatening illnesses.

'I'd like a second opinion. Something about this guy just doesn't smell right.'

'Remember, all these security cameras are for YOUR protection...otherwise, I'd come over there and smack you.'

"Is that Penny I smell? It's been so long... Hold on, is this Dougie? No way! That crazy mongrel, he is nuts! I remember that time he chased those kids on skateboards all the way down Cliff Street. Wait, is this Rosie?!"

"Good news, Grossman. As of today, short sleeves are O.K. around the office."

Again, that's yours.

You're right. It's not fear I smell but angst with a hint of regret.

'It's easy to follow the No Deodorant Kid.'