Smell Investigator T-Shirts

"This article says that a good investment consultant can smell money like a dog smells fear..."

Fish Market. This doesn't smell fresh. You're right --- we better change all the lox.

Parcel mail by sewer.

'So, how's that whole aroma therapy thing going?'

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

"Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, onion bagel with Nutella and cream cheese, dirt, dirt, dirt..."

"Eww - that whale's breath smells awful!" "You could use a breath mint yourself, lady!"

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

'Have you no common scents?!'

"I'm getting cinnamon, brandy, nutmeg, a hint of Alsatian."

'That strange smell, George.. is FRESH AIR!'

"Do you smell something?"

"Good news. It wasn't a toxic chemical leak. It was an old pizza in your kid's room."

'Is that the smell of fear? Or is it just Meatloaf Monday in the cafeteria?'

'No, that's not my shaving lotion. We've been burning cow chips in the wood stove.'

'It's for the girl who's in a hurry.'

"Oh boy, by the way this guy is moving, we can assume he's got some of our friends in his pants..."

A consumer guide to cheese.

'(Sniff!)... Hey! Somebody stole my identity!'

'It's nice to meet you Otto. Your scent precedes you.'

Woman disposes of partner's squash kit in hazardous waste container.

"Uh-oh,...she smells another dog in my portfolio..."

'I must smell more.'

"I ask you, how can something so cute and soft smell like a bag of Fritos?"

'I say we back off: I can't smell fear at all...'

"Poppy has left the dog kennel. I repeat Poppy has left the dog kennel...Yes, yes, we have a code brown!"

Barristers wearing clothes pegs to overcome a bad smell

'What do they mean 'is borer a beast of the field'?'

'I'd like a second opinion. Something about this guy just doesn't smell right.'

"Is that Penny I smell? It's been so long... Hold on, is this Dougie? No way! That crazy mongrel, he is nuts! I remember that time he chased those kids on skateboards all the way down Cliff Street. Wait, is this Rosie?!"

'It's easy to follow the No Deodorant Kid.'

Again, that's yours.

Insect Evolution Research Lab. Eureka! I've found the root of all weevils!

You're right. It's not fear I smell but angst with a hint of regret.