Scent Detectives T-Shirts

"At least they got rid of that dreadful smell."

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

'I work two jobs and have three kids. At the end of the day I am exhausted. Do you have anything that is not sexy and just smells good.'

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

'As it's your first day we're going to start you on something easy.'

Canine Scentipede

"Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, onion bagel with Nutella and cream cheese, dirt, dirt, dirt..."

"Eww - that whale's breath smells awful!" "You could use a breath mint yourself, lady!"

'Have you no common scents?!'

"But everyone else gets to market their own personal scent!"

"It's smells so good, but why do you have to wait so long?!"

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

"Finally a perfume store my husband will enjoy visiting."

"I'm getting cinnamon, brandy, nutmeg, a hint of Alsatian."

'That strange smell, George.. is FRESH AIR!'

"Do you smell something?"

"Good news. It wasn't a toxic chemical leak. It was an old pizza in your kid's room."

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

'Is that the smell of fear? Or is it just Meatloaf Monday in the cafeteria?'

The Huge-Underground Vat theory of why all wonton soup tastes exactly the same.

'No, that's not my shaving lotion. We've been burning cow chips in the wood stove.'

Pheromones.

'It's for the girl who's in a hurry.'

"If you could live your life all over again, what dead animals would you roll in?"

'This is a very powerful perfume -- there's a ten-day waiting period.'

'It's nice to meet you Otto. Your scent precedes you.'

Woman disposes of partner's squash kit in hazardous waste container.

'(Sniff!)... Hey! Somebody stole my identity!'

Gah! My Timotei is dead. - 'But what have we here? Tresemme with orange, mango, and passionfruit.' - 'Mmmm... passionfruit...' - '*Glug* *Glug* *Glug*' -

Bakery. The smell of freshly baked bread is the only truly perfect man-made thing on earth.

"I ask you, how can something so cute and soft smell like a bag of Fritos?"

"O.K., so I shrank. But you must admit I am brighter."

Barristers wearing clothes pegs to overcome a bad smell

'I say we back off: I can't smell fear at all...'