Smell Investigator Gifts

"This article says that a good investment consultant can smell money like a dog smells fear..."

Parcel mail by sewer.

'So, how's that whole aroma therapy thing going?'

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

"Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, onion bagel with Nutella and cream cheese, dirt, dirt, dirt..."

"Eww - that whale's breath smells awful!" "You could use a breath mint yourself, lady!"

'Have you no common scents?!'

"I'm getting cinnamon, brandy, nutmeg, a hint of Alsatian."

'That strange smell, George.. is FRESH AIR!'

"Do you smell something?"

"Good news. It wasn't a toxic chemical leak. It was an old pizza in your kid's room."

'Is that the smell of fear? Or is it just Meatloaf Monday in the cafeteria?'

'No, that's not my shaving lotion. We've been burning cow chips in the wood stove.'

"Oh boy, by the way this guy is moving, we can assume he's got some of our friends in his pants..."

'It's for the girl who's in a hurry.'

A consumer guide to cheese.

'(Sniff!)... Hey! Somebody stole my identity!'

Woman disposes of partner's squash kit in hazardous waste container.

'It's nice to meet you Otto. Your scent precedes you.'

'What do they mean 'is borer a beast of the field'?'

'I must smell more.'

"Poppy has left the dog kennel. I repeat Poppy has left the dog kennel...Yes, yes, we have a code brown!"

"I ask you, how can something so cute and soft smell like a bag of Fritos?"

'I say we back off: I can't smell fear at all...'

"Uh-oh,...she smells another dog in my portfolio..."

Barristers wearing clothes pegs to overcome a bad smell

'I'd like a second opinion. Something about this guy just doesn't smell right.'

"Is that Penny I smell? It's been so long... Hold on, is this Dougie? No way! That crazy mongrel, he is nuts! I remember that time he chased those kids on skateboards all the way down Cliff Street. Wait, is this Rosie?!"

'It's easy to follow the No Deodorant Kid.'

LOVENUTS: 'We were irresistibly attracted to each other's smells,' says Jo-Jo.

"No offense."

"Yeah, it's completely irrational, but the smell of freshly baked bread makes me salivate too..."

"Well done, yes, it's a skunk scent. Concentrate though, can you smell the faint trace of perfume? It's a female skunk..."