Smell Detective Gifts

'I'd like a second opinion. Something about this guy just doesn't smell right.'

Barristers wearing clothes pegs to overcome a bad smell

'School of chiropody? You can't miss it. Straight down here and it's next to the parmesan cheese factory.'

'What have you got?.' 'If you don't smell it we haven't got it.'

'I am tired of being blamed for whenever there are unexplained odors, understand.'

'Is that the smell of fear? Or is it just Meatloaf Monday in the cafeteria?'

"Don't go in there for 30-45 minutes..."

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

"Eww - that whale's breath smells awful!" "You could use a breath mint yourself, lady!"

"Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, onion bagel with Nutella and cream cheese, dirt, dirt, dirt..."

'Have you no common scents?!'

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

"I'm getting cinnamon, brandy, nutmeg, a hint of Alsatian."

'That strange smell, George.. is FRESH AIR!'

"Good news. It wasn't a toxic chemical leak. It was an old pizza in your kid's room."

"Do you smell something?"

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

The Huge-Underground Vat theory of why all wonton soup tastes exactly the same.

'No, that's not my shaving lotion. We've been burning cow chips in the wood stove.'

'It's for the girl who's in a hurry.'

"Ah — excellent catsup."

A consumer guide to cheese.

'(Sniff!)... Hey! Somebody stole my identity!'

'It's nice to meet you Otto. Your scent precedes you.'

Woman disposes of partner's squash kit in hazardous waste container.

"I'd know my tinnitus anywhere and this isn't it."

'Daddy, why is that man wearing a blank T-shirt?'

"Uh-oh,...she smells another dog in my portfolio..."

"I ask you, how can something so cute and soft smell like a bag of Fritos?"

"O.K., so I shrank. But you must admit I am brighter."

'I say we back off: I can't smell fear at all...'

"Is that Penny I smell? It's been so long... Hold on, is this Dougie? No way! That crazy mongrel, he is nuts! I remember that time he chased those kids on skateboards all the way down Cliff Street. Wait, is this Rosie?!"

You're right. It's not fear I smell but angst with a hint of regret.

'It's easy to follow the No Deodorant Kid.'

Again, that's yours.