Smell Detective Gifts

'I'd like a second opinion. Something about this guy just doesn't smell right.'

Barristers wearing clothes pegs to overcome a bad smell

'School of chiropody? You can't miss it. Straight down here and it's next to the parmesan cheese factory.'

'What have you got?.' 'If you don't smell it we haven't got it.'

'I am tired of being blamed for whenever there are unexplained odors, understand.'

'Is that the smell of fear? Or is it just Meatloaf Monday in the cafeteria?'

"Don't go in there for 30-45 minutes..."

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

"Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, onion bagel with Nutella and cream cheese, dirt, dirt, dirt..."

"Eww - that whale's breath smells awful!" "You could use a breath mint yourself, lady!"

'Have you no common scents?!'

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

"I'm getting cinnamon, brandy, nutmeg, a hint of Alsatian."

'That strange smell, George.. is FRESH AIR!'

"Do you smell something?"

"Good news. It wasn't a toxic chemical leak. It was an old pizza in your kid's room."

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

'No, that's not my shaving lotion. We've been burning cow chips in the wood stove.'

The Huge-Underground Vat theory of why all wonton soup tastes exactly the same.

"Ah — excellent catsup."

'It's for the girl who's in a hurry.'

A consumer guide to cheese.

'It's nice to meet you Otto. Your scent precedes you.'

"I'd know my tinnitus anywhere and this isn't it."

'(Sniff!)... Hey! Somebody stole my identity!'

Woman disposes of partner's squash kit in hazardous waste container.

'Daddy, why is that man wearing a blank T-shirt?'

"O.K., so I shrank. But you must admit I am brighter."

'I say we back off: I can't smell fear at all...'

"I ask you, how can something so cute and soft smell like a bag of Fritos?"

"Uh-oh,...she smells another dog in my portfolio..."

"No offense."

'It's easy to follow the No Deodorant Kid.'

"Is that Penny I smell? It's been so long... Hold on, is this Dougie? No way! That crazy mongrel, he is nuts! I remember that time he chased those kids on skateboards all the way down Cliff Street. Wait, is this Rosie?!"

"Well done, yes, it's a skunk scent. Concentrate though, can you smell the faint trace of perfume? It's a female skunk..."