Small Game Conqueror Gifts

Fancy portrait of the gentleman who killed the greatest number of small birds. [To be hung up in all sparrow clubs]

Rage.

"Can Olaf come out to pillage and plunder?"

"Our Rupert has swopped his gaming console for bagpipes...it gets us out of the house more often."

Second lifeReal life.

"As night falls, You return to claim what isn't yours. . . come at me, sea devil!!!"

'These new video games are getting out of hand...'

'Hand over the last one now kid or you're getting my fist for Christmas!'

"Damn it, Gwendolyn, you know when you married me I only moved one square at a time."

"...and how often do you feel monkas?"

"Where do you see yourself in five moves?"

"Me, I love vacuuming: it makes the dog next door barking mad! Works every time..."

"I reached Level Three of Super Mario Brothers!"

"Thanks for the offer... but I'd rather see if tech support can get my computer running."

"So many FANTASTIC applicants, where do we start!"

What brings you to therapy, Mr. Park? I'm stuck. Dr. Noodle. I'm paralyzed. I'm not making any progress. Honestly, I'm lost in the trees. I've lost sight of my goals. My health units are low. Units? Unseen enemies are everywhere. I can't sleep. I'm not eating. You're not making sense. Who am I kidding? You're right. The truth? Fine, I admit it. I can't get past level 5!!! I don't do video game counseling. If my mom loved me more, I'd be able to find more ammo.

"Yes! I defeated the invading forces! I am master and commander... I am a warlord!"

Computer Gamers.

'I like Dr. Keener. He's a good loser.'

'I wanna get out of the rat race, spend more time with the kids and finally nail them at monopoly.'

'Here's a twist. Before you go on your quest, an insurance salesman tries to sell you life insurance. If you buy a lot you can date prettier girls.'

Speleologist

"Ha ha, very funny. But seriously … there’s a pub at the top?"

'And you honey, how was your day at the PlayStation?'

'Down to 43 hit points? ?have you been fighting again?'

Old man with a zimmer frame grittier

Law Judge playing video game called 'Call of Jury Duty II'.

'I'm not sure I like Billy playing video games so much!'

"These will make you feel like a kid again... especially when you can't remove the child-proof cap!"

"Easy with that computer, Martha. It senses fear."

If they can put a man on the moon, then why can't they... invent a popcorn machine that pops all of the kernels!?

I'm going to sports camp this summer. Same. Tap tap tap. My parents think it'll help me make varsity. That'll get me into college. Same. Tap tap tap tap tap. Got him! Nice move. Too bad we can't letter in video games.

"These IT guys are really intimidating I mean just look at the focus the concentration...I wonder what he's working on?"

"I'm not angry with you, I'm angry with life!"

'Dinnertime!', 'Not now, Mom -- the fate of the Galaxy is in my hands!'