Sluggish Speedster Fan Gifts

Snail jumping through ring of fire.

Radar Gun Readings at Baseball Stadium

"Well, you both sleep eighteen hours a day, so try to coordinate this to find a window for some quality time together..."

Bob's Driving School.

"I want to be straight with you, Cathy—I've gone through a number of cars in my life."

"Oh, oh, it seems they've had a little trouble with the hand-off in lane number three."

"If you think I ride too fast, Susan...just say so!"

'Hey, wait for me!'

'Never, Ever...drive 56 mph on a 55 mph freeway in a sporty red convertible.'

Car leaving highway crashes through 'EXIT HERE' sign.

Man running

Housewife: Out of Order.

Birthday Racing Car

Runner going through hurdles.

"Sorry, eighty is not the new sixty-five."

A souped up car...

"Emergency exits are located on both sides of the cabin...."

Formula One car origami

"IBS isn't all bad. It was largely responsible for me winning 6 sprinting medals in college track."

'Fancy a swift half?'

'I hate running in the outside lane.'

"Mr. Evans, it's a speeding ticket. You can't plea insanity."

"They're perfect astronauts. Fast velocity followed by a long, slow pace."

'I've got a confession to make dear, I'm The Stig!

Driver at Grand Prix shooting another driver with the cork from champagne

22. Being tireless is good trait to have in most jobs, but not when you're working on a pit crew.

Pig Trotter

The Bagel Wheel Derby.

"Cricket...six minutes of excitement crammed into six hours!"

Rolling Stop.

Daily News Headline Dept. Editor. Here's a story about a guy who shaved his race horse to cut wind resistance, and the horse got a terrible sunburn. "A pony shaved is a pony burned"!

"I did it Dad! I ran all the way home and beat the rain!"

"Mom's left her phone here. We'll have to walk to the kitchen to tell her to get us dinner."

Arcarde Patrol

'Think Basics.'