Lazy Day Fan Gifts

"Arlen keeps bragging about running 26 miles. What he fails to tell people is that it took him eight months to do it."

"Mom's left her phone here. We'll have to walk to the kitchen to tell her to get us dinner."

American idle

'As a bachelor I have to wash my own clothes, clean my own room. The do it all again three months later.'

Jed was a serious gamer...so on race days, he would always dress for speed!!

'There's nothing on the telly!'

Housewife: Out of Order.

'Darling, whip me something up in the kitchen.'

"Four out of five doctors recommend that you get up and get some exercise."

"Well, you both sleep eighteen hours a day, so try to coordinate this to find a window for some quality time together..."

"So...what have you been doing for your last week of summer break?"

Rush hour with cats

"Yes, I do all my shopping online. How did you know?"

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

"I've no idea. Maybe it's the slumber channel."

"It's an update from the people tracking us. According to this, we haven't gone anywhere or done anything."

"Really? They're now giving out non-participation trophies?"

Lazy Octopus

"Well, the remote's not dowmn the back of the couch."

Wordplay: Hibernation.

American Idle.

Cat and mouse

"Me, as soon as I'm old enough, I'm out of here! I'll go and join my older brother: he's a beach bum in San Diego, California..."

"Mmmm! Bears hibernate in the winter. Cats can hibernate anytime we want!"

Bill and Lester have a 'Hay Day'.

"Right now Arnold Schwarzenegger is doing sit-ups."

To be honest, I'd just as soon as lay in the yard, but he so looks forward to it.

A Golden Non-Retriever

Catatonic

'Some dogs are meant to be working dogs and some aren't.'

'well, Fred, I see you're finally embracing technology.'

'Okay. Time to get up. 1... 2... 3... Go!' - 'Actually, maybe I'll just rest my eyes for a few seconds.' - 'Zzzzz...'

"I've had a lot of exercise today! I jumped to several conclusions, ran my mouth on the phone, and I just cycled through 500 cable channels!"

"Such a refreshing day...I've spent 18 hours between napping and comatose."

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."