Slow-paced Living Fan Gifts

Snail Peephole

'Wow, these lights stay on the red cycle for a very long time.'

Local food for local consumption

'Fred is a social conservative -- he believes in slow food and heavy beer.'

'The Rush Orders department is a shambles, Briggs, and I think you're just the man to turn it around,'

'I've seen nothing I've liked since Victor Meldrew!'

"Sorry, but your life moves so slowly that the ball keeps timing out."

Nobody warned Marge that a side effect of a hip replacement is feeling more hippy.

'It even has its own built-in home security system!'

'Today's unwilling nude model is Ralph.'

"The current owners removed a number of walls and used soft, neutral tones to create a very spacious, open concept."

'Are you still eating your breakfast? I want to lay the table for lunch.'

Honey I'm Home

"It's cut my heating bills right down."

'I want to be a philosopher Mum: Lots of thinking and no physical work...'

"Dude, I don't mind watching your holiday video, but can you fast-forward it please..."

"I don't tell you how to gather."

"It sucks being reincarnated as a snail, but at least I've finally achieved home ownership."

'I've invented food, and I've invented shelter -- two out of three isn't so bad!'

'Sorry, Bill's out of his office today, he should be back Monday.'

"One day junior, all this will be yours..."

"Come on! It's the final lap!"

"We missed out on the quality of life index again."

'First past the post?'

"Wait, I think I got a signal!"

Business is slow, thank goodness.

"I've always worked from home."

"When I was small, I used to be so busy. I was always running here and rushing there. Go, go, go. That was me. Now I just ride my bike or sit around watching mindless junk on TV. My life just keeps getting better and better all the time."

'It's addicting... I watch it eight hours a day.'

'Wow! She's fast. She even had time to do her shopping!'

'...and that concludes this five-hour seminar on 'slow life'.'

Tortoise Football Fan

"When life gets too hectic, I just like to stop, smell the roses, and write checks."