Primitive Living Fan Gifts

'I've invented food, and I've invented shelter -- two out of three isn't so bad!'

'It even has its own built-in home security system!'

"I don't tell you how to gather."

No, I told you, only take rocks from the checking pile, not from the savings pile.

'It's addicting... I watch it eight hours a day.'

"It's cut my heating bills right down."

" ... and here's the Piece de Resistance, your own wine cellar. Of course, it's a cave dwelling, so it's also your bathroom, kitchen, bedroom ..."

Comedy Cafe

'She sounds like your mother when you told her that you were going to marry me.'

See, Catty-O? I told you dinner was included with admission.

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

'What do you mean; 'I should burn less fuel to save the environment'? I only discovered fire this morning.'

Eggs portrayed in different art media.

Fire starts at magic show while audience participant is left behind.

Caveman bathroom

St Bernard Toilet Holder

'I roll it ahead of me, and anything it hits goes into my famous Road Kill Stew.'

"The current owners removed a number of walls and used soft, neutral tones to create a very spacious, open concept."

'It's all hand made.'

Honey I'm Home

"Either Bob lost weight or you jammed too much helium into those balloons."

"So easy a caveman did do it."

'Serves me right for frowning.'

"My new boyfriend is free range!"

The invention of baseball.

'Cheap seats!'

'Having a toy chest that folds out into a desk has really helped.'

"We have a question from an audience member, who asks: 'how do you stay optimistic during difficult times?'"

"I'm sorry, he's just left the stage. May I take a message?"

I pay 125 clams a year on road taxes.

Snail Peephole

'It's a perfect starter teepee.'

Poor turnout, Please help.

"I thought a kitten would be nice for a change."

The Moving Company.