Slow-paced Life Lover Gifts

"It sucks being reincarnated as a snail, but at least I've finally achieved home ownership."

Speed Dating for Turtles

'I think I'm getting somewhere. On the way over I stopped to smell the flowers.'

"Sorry, but your life moves so slowly that the ball keeps timing out."

"Let me guess. You had it up to here with the world of business, so you packed it all in and started your own winery."

'I can't believe you only lasted 3 days, 9 hours and 56 minutes.'

"Frankly, I could move a lot faster, but the truth is that I lack motivation..."

"Dude, I don't mind watching your holiday video, but can you fast-forward it please..."

"One day junior, all this will be yours..."

Granny takes a turtle for a walk.

"We missed out on the quality of life index again."

Boris Bike

Snail Peephole

I wanna find out about your let to buy options!

Business is slow, thank goodness.

"When I was small, I used to be so busy. I was always running here and rushing there. Go, go, go. That was me. Now I just ride my bike or sit around watching mindless junk on TV. My life just keeps getting better and better all the time."

"I was involved in an awful accident, and was in a coma for three weeks. Half my life flashed before me!"

"I've always worked from home."

'...and that concludes this five-hour seminar on 'slow life'.'

'It's an interesting effect: I tend to walk faster when I'm listening to Rock & Roll...'

It's an anti-tipping device, I thought of it while watching Drag-Racing on TV...

'Better slow it down a bit.'

"Just shoot me if I ever take up power walking."

I wasn't screening my calls! I just can't make it to the phone before the machine picks up!

Who you don't want to get stuck behind in summer traffic.

"When life gets too hectic, I just like to stop, smell the roses, and write checks."

'On your mark...'

Life didn't pass me by --- I just refused to keep up!

"Thank goodness speed bumps were finally put in. They drive like maniacs around here!"

Snail hitching a lift to the other side of the garden from a tortoise

"Worm, how do you stay so humble and calm?"

Randy, if you could be ANY superhero, which one would you be? I'd be Randy-Man. He came to earth with powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal men. He's slower than a speeding bullet, because he takes his time in all things. He can change the course of a lady's evening with a single smile. I don't think The Avengers would have much use for Randy-Man.

"Our blind dates have spotted us, but it's going to be a while before we reach them: try to stay nonchalant all the way though..."

Getting in step with the global slowdown.

'The best way to conserve energy is to move very very slowly.'