Slow Life Aficionado Gifts

"Dude, I don't mind watching your holiday video, but can you fast-forward it please..."

'They sold the company in 2001? I was wondering why things were slow.'

'Wow, these lights stay on the red cycle for a very long time.'

Man reads a book while seated in a loveseat as a cat peers over the seat at him.

'The Rush Orders department is a shambles, Briggs, and I think you're just the man to turn it around,'

"Sorry, but your life moves so slowly that the ball keeps timing out."

Pension in race with tortoise and snail.

'Of course business is slow. Would we want it any other way?'

"Personally, there's nothing I like better than to curl up in bed with a bad woman."

"It sucks being reincarnated as a snail, but at least I've finally achieved home ownership."

Speed Checked By Radar.

"Anyone home?"

'Sorry, Bill's out of his office today, he should be back Monday.'

"We missed out on the quality of life index again."

"One day junior, all this will be yours..."

Boris Bike

Granny takes a turtle for a walk.

Slow food.

"But otherwise I'll bet they lead very dull lives."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, lady, can't you read?"

"When I was small, I used to be so busy. I was always running here and rushing there. Go, go, go. That was me. Now I just ride my bike or sit around watching mindless junk on TV. My life just keeps getting better and better all the time."

Tortoise Mailman.

Business is slow, thank goodness.

"I was involved in an awful accident, and was in a coma for three weeks. Half my life flashed before me!"

"I've always worked from home."

"Time travel will never happen. You'd have to be able to travel faster than the speed of a tortoise for it to be possible."

Snail Taxi.

'...and that concludes this five-hour seminar on 'slow life'.'

"No, this video of your father running is not in slow motion."

I may not be the smartest tortoise, but I've been around the block a few times. Well, once.

'I love my job, but the commute is killing me.'

Life didn't pass me by --- I just refused to keep up!

"Well yes, we've been married for eighty years, but your grandma didn't want to rush things: We were engaged for thirty years before that..."

I wasn't screening my calls! I just can't make it to the phone before the machine picks up!

"When life gets too hectic, I just like to stop, smell the roses, and write checks."