Slow Life Enthusiasts Gifts

"But ask yourself, do you really need high speed broadband?"

Boris Bike

"I was involved in an awful accident, and was in a coma for three weeks. Half my life flashed before me!"

'They sold the company in 2001? I was wondering why things were slow.'

"Sorry, but your life moves so slowly that the ball keeps timing out."

Pension in race with tortoise and snail.

'I think I'm just coming up to the finishing line, Dear.'

'Of course business is slow. Would we want it any other way?'

"It sucks being reincarnated as a snail, but at least I've finally achieved home ownership."

"That's alright, I'll keep you company: I'm not in a hurry to get to school..."

"Dude, I don't mind watching your holiday video, but can you fast-forward it please..."

Speed Checked By Radar.

"One day junior, all this will be yours..."

"We missed out on the quality of life index again."

Granny takes a turtle for a walk.

"Giddyup!. . . Damn. I think I just wasted 500 bucks."

'Tortoise fanciers dinner 6:30pm for 10pm'

"Anyone home?"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, lady, can't you read?"

"I've always worked from home."

Business is slow, thank goodness.

Snail Taxi.

Gastropod Wedding Showers,

"When I was small, I used to be so busy. I was always running here and rushing there. Go, go, go. That was me. Now I just ride my bike or sit around watching mindless junk on TV. My life just keeps getting better and better all the time."

'...and that concludes this five-hour seminar on 'slow life'.'

'Better slow it down a bit.'

"When life gets too hectic, I just like to stop, smell the roses, and write checks."

'On your mark...'

Snail hitching a lift to the other side of the garden from a tortoise

"The snail-mail of our species is deadlier than the e-mail."

I wasn't screening my calls! I just can't make it to the phone before the machine picks up!

"I hear furlough's being extended."

Life didn't pass me by --- I just refused to keep up!

"Thank goodness speed bumps were finally put in. They drive like maniacs around here!"

Getting in step with the global slowdown.