Slow-paced Life Admirer Gifts

A Snail follows directions.

Snail hitching a lift to the other side of the garden from a tortoise

'No, I'm sorry, he didn't leave a forwarding address.'

"When I was small, I used to be so busy. I was always running here and rushing there. Go, go, go. That was me. Now I just ride my bike or sit around watching mindless junk on TV. My life just keeps getting better and better all the time."

'Wow, these lights stay on the red cycle for a very long time.'

'The Rush Orders department is a shambles, Briggs, and I think you're just the man to turn it around,'

"Sorry, but your life moves so slowly that the ball keeps timing out."

"Dude, I don't mind watching your holiday video, but can you fast-forward it please..."

Snail Display Today

"It sucks being reincarnated as a snail, but at least I've finally achieved home ownership."

'Sorry, Bill's out of his office today, he should be back Monday.'

'Goopta took early retirement.'

Granny takes a turtle for a walk.

"Anyone home?"

Boris Bike

"One day junior, all this will be yours..."

"We missed out on the quality of life index again."

"I've always worked from home."

Snail Taxi.

Business is slow, thank goodness.

"I was involved in an awful accident, and was in a coma for three weeks. Half my life flashed before me!"

"Time travel will never happen. You'd have to be able to travel faster than the speed of a tortoise for it to be possible."

'...and that concludes this five-hour seminar on 'slow life'.'

"You know, I'm happy in my world of low expectations."

'Better slow it down a bit.'

"Well yes, we've been married for eighty years, but your grandma didn't want to rush things: We were engaged for thirty years before that..."

Randy, if you could be ANY superhero, which one would you be? I'd be Randy-Man. He came to earth with powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal men. He's slower than a speeding bullet, because he takes his time in all things. He can change the course of a lady's evening with a single smile. I don't think The Avengers would have much use for Randy-Man.

I wasn't screening my calls! I just can't make it to the phone before the machine picks up!

"The snail-mail of our species is deadlier than the e-mail."

"When life gets too hectic, I just like to stop, smell the roses, and write checks."

'I love my job, but the commute is killing me.'

"I shouldn't have gone to freshen up at the interval: The second act was almost over by the time I reached my seat again..."

'On your mark...'

I may not be the smartest tortoise, but I've been around the block a few times. Well, once.

Life didn't pass me by --- I just refused to keep up!