Slow-paced Life Admirer Gifts

A Snail follows directions.

Snail hitching a lift to the other side of the garden from a tortoise

'No, I'm sorry, he didn't leave a forwarding address.'

"When I was small, I used to be so busy. I was always running here and rushing there. Go, go, go. That was me. Now I just ride my bike or sit around watching mindless junk on TV. My life just keeps getting better and better all the time."

'Wow, these lights stay on the red cycle for a very long time.'

'The Rush Orders department is a shambles, Briggs, and I think you're just the man to turn it around,'

"Sorry, but your life moves so slowly that the ball keeps timing out."

Snail Display Today

"It sucks being reincarnated as a snail, but at least I've finally achieved home ownership."

"Dude, I don't mind watching your holiday video, but can you fast-forward it please..."

"Anyone home?"

Boris Bike

Granny takes a turtle for a walk.

'Sorry, Bill's out of his office today, he should be back Monday.'

'Goopta took early retirement.'

"One day junior, all this will be yours..."

"We missed out on the quality of life index again."

"Time travel will never happen. You'd have to be able to travel faster than the speed of a tortoise for it to be possible."

Snail Taxi.

Business is slow, thank goodness.

"I've always worked from home."

"I was involved in an awful accident, and was in a coma for three weeks. Half my life flashed before me!"

'...and that concludes this five-hour seminar on 'slow life'.'

"You know, I'm happy in my world of low expectations."

'Better slow it down a bit.'

"When life gets too hectic, I just like to stop, smell the roses, and write checks."

'On your mark...'

"Well yes, we've been married for eighty years, but your grandma didn't want to rush things: We were engaged for thirty years before that..."

'I love my job, but the commute is killing me.'

"What a shell!"

"I shouldn't have gone to freshen up at the interval: The second act was almost over by the time I reached my seat again..."

"The snail-mail of our species is deadlier than the e-mail."

Getting in step with the global slowdown.

'The best way to conserve energy is to move very very slowly.'