Slow Living Admirer Gifts

"The snail-mail of our species is deadlier than the e-mail."

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

'Some days I just feel so stuck in a rut that I wish I'd never been invented!'

'Wow, these lights stay on the red cycle for a very long time.'

'Caution Speed Bump Ahead.'

'The Rush Orders department is a shambles, Briggs, and I think you're just the man to turn it around,'

'You have to do something...My husband just doesn't look at me the way he used to.'

"Some day, son, all these aches and pains will be yours."

"Sorry, but your life moves so slowly that the ball keeps timing out."

Four Stages of Christmas.

Pension in race with tortoise and snail.

Boy throws a stick for a tortoise. By the time the tortoise returns, the boy is an old man.

'Of course business is slow. Would we want it any other way?'

Snail Display Today

"Dude, I don't mind watching your holiday video, but can you fast-forward it please..."

"That's alright, I'll keep you company: I'm not in a hurry to get to school..."

Speed Checked By Radar.

"The Snout? What For? We've got everything we want right here."

"Anyone home?"

'Sorry, Bill's out of his office today, he should be back Monday.'

"We missed out on the quality of life index again."

'I'd like to buy a frame that adds youth to a portrait.'

Boris Bike

Snail Peephole

'She was 50 years old and still didn't show her age...The same could not be said of her husband.'

"Wrinkles are the roadmap of a well lived life." "I think I've just found the M25."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, lady, can't you read?"

Bird on stilts.

My gran likes the crossword.

Business is slow, thank goodness.

"Hmmm... that's more like it!"

"When I was small, I used to be so busy. I was always running here and rushing there. Go, go, go. That was me. Now I just ride my bike or sit around watching mindless junk on TV. My life just keeps getting better and better all the time."

Snail Taxi.

"I was involved in an awful accident, and was in a coma for three weeks. Half my life flashed before me!"

'...and that concludes this five-hour seminar on 'slow life'.'