Slow Living Admirer Gifts

"The snail-mail of our species is deadlier than the e-mail."

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

'Some days I just feel so stuck in a rut that I wish I'd never been invented!'

'Wow, these lights stay on the red cycle for a very long time.'

'Caution Speed Bump Ahead.'

'The Rush Orders department is a shambles, Briggs, and I think you're just the man to turn it around,'

'You have to do something...My husband just doesn't look at me the way he used to.'

"Sorry, but your life moves so slowly that the ball keeps timing out."

"Some day, son, all these aches and pains will be yours."

Pension in race with tortoise and snail.

Boy throws a stick for a tortoise. By the time the tortoise returns, the boy is an old man.

'Of course business is slow. Would we want it any other way?'

"That's alright, I'll keep you company: I'm not in a hurry to get to school..."

"Dude, I don't mind watching your holiday video, but can you fast-forward it please..."

Snail Display Today

Speed Checked By Radar.

"The Snout? What For? We've got everything we want right here."

"We missed out on the quality of life index again."

"Anyone home?"

'Sorry, Bill's out of his office today, he should be back Monday.'

'I'd like to buy a frame that adds youth to a portrait.'

Boris Bike

Snail Peephole

"Wrinkles are the roadmap of a well lived life." "I think I've just found the M25."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, lady, can't you read?"

Bird on stilts.

Business is slow, thank goodness.

My gran likes the crossword.

"I was involved in an awful accident, and was in a coma for three weeks. Half my life flashed before me!"

"When I was small, I used to be so busy. I was always running here and rushing there. Go, go, go. That was me. Now I just ride my bike or sit around watching mindless junk on TV. My life just keeps getting better and better all the time."

Snail Taxi.

"Hmmm... that's more like it!"

'...and that concludes this five-hour seminar on 'slow life'.'

"What a shell!"