Slicing Specialist Gifts

'He's an experienced golfer! Experienced in sand traps, water hazards and slicing.'

Soup of the month.

'I got fired, Amy... I hate it when that happens!'

I told you I got us the best table in the house. Pizza.

"May I take your plate or are you still nibbling?"

Tartar sauce.

"Well, there's your problem right there -- you need to sauté the onions in white wine before adding the ginger."

A shop is called 'Garnishes: Top Meals in Tough Times'.

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

'Maybe we could put our knitting down until the examination is over.'

'We'd like one pizza cut into eleven pieces.'

Monsanto - "Bad news, the tomato gene has jumped species"

For Greg, it was just another predictable day at Kraft,

'You'd better cut it into six pieces I don't think I could eat eight!'

It's my latest recombinant DNA project. Are you a man or a mouse?

Gordon Ramsay

Antonio Carluccio.

"I don't think I could fit another slice in...oh, hold on."

'There's an inspector here from the Board of Health who would like to see the chicken soup.'

"Aw, man, that's never coming out."

'It's just a precaution, there were lots of fiddley bits left over at the end of the operation.'

'I'm sorry, we can't give you a surgically inserted gastric band, as it appears you already have two!'

'He's an experienced golfer! Experienced in sand traps, water hazards and slicing.'

"Did you remember the tartar sauce?"

"That's affirmative. It smells delicious. Over."

"We're checking ourselves out after making our own salads and grinding our own coffee...they should be paying us!"

'Have you found contact lenses in your soup?'

He's in trouble. He's in charge of the mess halls abroad, and there have been lots of complaints that the food is too spicy. He oversees the overseas over-seasoning.

"Nasty slice you have but now we're on this course, we may as well switch to it."

"I wish sometimes that we'd never domesticated the damn things."

This place says they have the biggest pizza slice in town...

'I like to think of myself as Tiger Woods' greatest nightmare - although I'd don't know why he'd ever dream about me.'

Sculpturer about to be crushes by broken bit of own sculpture

"The red wine sauce... what vintage is that?"

Culinary School. Just taste it to check the seasoning --- You don't need to proofread you alphabet soup.