Slicing Specialist T-Shirts

'He's an experienced golfer! Experienced in sand traps, water hazards and slicing.'

Soup of the month.

'I got fired, Amy... I hate it when that happens!'

"May I take your plate or are you still nibbling?"

"Well, there's your problem right there -- you need to sauté the onions in white wine before adding the ginger."

Tartar sauce.

A shop is called 'Garnishes: Top Meals in Tough Times'.

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

'Maybe we could put our knitting down until the examination is over.'

'We'd like one pizza cut into eleven pieces.'

Monsanto - "Bad news, the tomato gene has jumped species"

'You'd better cut it into six pieces I don't think I could eat eight!'

Antonio Carluccio.

'There's an inspector here from the Board of Health who would like to see the chicken soup.'

"Aw, man, that's never coming out."

'I'm sorry, we can't give you a surgically inserted gastric band, as it appears you already have two!'

'It's just a precaution, there were lots of fiddley bits left over at the end of the operation.'

'Have you found contact lenses in your soup?'

"We're checking ourselves out after making our own salads and grinding our own coffee...they should be paying us!"

"That's affirmative. It smells delicious. Over."

'He's an experienced golfer! Experienced in sand traps, water hazards and slicing.'

"Did you remember the tartar sauce?"

"Nasty slice you have but now we're on this course, we may as well switch to it."

This place says they have the biggest pizza slice in town...

"I wish sometimes that we'd never domesticated the damn things."

"The red wine sauce... what vintage is that?"

Sculpturer about to be crushes by broken bit of own sculpture

'I like to think of myself as Tiger Woods' greatest nightmare - although I'd don't know why he'd ever dream about me.'

"We want two pizzas, in small, nonconsecutive slices."