Skeptical Healthy Eater Gifts

An Expert's Guide to What's Good and What's Bad to Eat and Drink.

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

'All those vegetables Mom's been feeding me finally paid off. I'm a squash.'

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

Queen of Quinoa

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

"Be sure and eat your frozen vegetables."

"I'd rather eat your homework."

'Say low-cholesterol dairy-free alternative to cheese!'

'Excuse me - are you organic?'

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

'We've only got a couple of days to finish this box of cereal. Mom'll never let us eat something called energy-packed after school's out.'

"He says that when he had a vegetable salad as an appetizer, he can now have burgers, pizza and Coke as a reward."

'For the first 500 calories of what we are about to receive, make us truly thankful.'

'I won't tell my thighs if you don't..'

Fountain of Youth/Fountain of Bacon

'This 'infrastructure' stuff you keep talking about -- does it have anything to do with vegetables?'

I used to eat plenty of natural foods, but then I found out that most people die of natural causes.

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

"But but ... if we remove all the additives there'll be nothing left!"

'Thank you waiter - my wife's the rabbit.'

Another reason farm raised fish aren't as healthy as wild ones.

'Cut down on sodium? I'm taking that with a pinch of salt.'

Mom's restaurant - 'You can't leave until you've eaten your greens.'

Gullib-Os

'He's all eyes!'

"I say we settle around here, there's no chemical aftertaste to the soil: Must be an organic farmer..."

Vegetables VS Junk Food.

"I just found a lacto-vegan restaurant and Janet from accounts says she's FRUITAIAN!"

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

"It's a giant banana but is it an organic giant banana?"

'Radford, go in for Bloom. ... Uh-uh-uh! Finish your vegetables first!'

Motivation to Keep Fit.

All-You-Should-Eat Buffet