Situational Humor Fans Gifts

Ledge Rescue Service

"Consider yourself lucky that you only got a little shaken up in that dryer--socks get lost in that thing and aren't ever seen again.'

"I can never remember - do these go in garbage or compost?"

'We found you in a cabbage!'

In utero...boy, THOSE were the days!

Tequila Mockingbird

'NO, it DOESN'T come on DISC!'

"Pumpkin spice has been very good to me."

'Guess who's teething?'

'You've made a breakthrough in FINANCIAL research?', 'Yep! - I split the ATM!'

"Relax, he could just be looking for fun."

"Sorry, coffee is delivered by a union shop and you banned all things union."

'Henry, cut that out.'

Under New Mismanagement

'Hi! I'm a freshman -- when do I get corrupted?'

"Oh you kids and that cursed painting in the closet keep me young."

"Your toilet water over ice, sir. And how is the homework?"

Beer Lunch

"What?!"

Sure, snoring is a big issue at our house too: you've seen the size of my dad's nose...

"When you said we were going to push the boat out tonight, I thought you meant we were going to a fancy restaurant!"

Make your own bottled water.

"Not wearing deodorant is not what I meant by 'respect the local customs'"

Top Ten Elevator Hits of All Time

Sawrd Fighting

Psycho-plankton.

"Really, yes, I'm on a diet too: I need to almost double my summer weight before the start of the winter hibernation..."

Pastoral Choirs

Privatization and Deregulation are the gas in the engine of the economy.

"I hate when this happens."

'You were nagging your husband all over the road. I'll need to see your marriage license.'

'Look, that peasant is eating something -- the economy's on the move again!'

Junk Stamps For Junk Mail.