Situational Humor Buff Gifts

'Please don't be someone I know,,,'

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

Grand Canyon. What's so great about the Grand Canyon?...Most of it's missing!

Cat Nip.

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

'The meek shall inherit the Earth!'

"Hic. Gosh and begorrah!" "Wha?"

The Seven Dwarfs After Therapy

Cheeze Wiz.

'He does lack social skills.'

The Golfing Accident

Snowman with Happy Face Badge.

Fishing line going in to water and then dropping down from sky at top of panel.

"Halloween is the perfect time to land on Earth. Nobody will notice us and we can get free candy."

Wedding disaster #27.

'Try and be pleasant dear, you don't want to alienate it.'

"And would you like flies with that?"

Milk Bar - "Don't you think you've had enough?"

"Oh, yeah? Well, you smell nice!"

"I've told you kids - that's not a toy!"

"The new OS update should fix the bug that makes you want to murder everyone."

Stepping on clown's shoe...

'My new cellphone has a 'self-help' program...'

'We're well positioned, but we lack leadership.'

'Okay, I see it now...lame in the third hind leg on the left side!'

Podiatry. The greated podiatrist of all time, you say? Yep. I studied at his feet.

'The worst thing about it is I'm claustrophobic.'

"While you were out, the staff whittled away your desk into a totem pole."

'We had to discontinue the alphabet soup, sir - Too many censorship problems.'

Vampire collects bottles of blood from his doorstep.

'Ah, business as usual.'

"Beware of God"

Bottle-nosed Dolphins.

'The next case Your Honor, is a palimony suit. The ant vs the grasshopper.'

The Quotable Ben Franklin. To lengthen thy life, lessen thy meals. And not flying thy kite during thunderstorms might help, too!