Situational Humor Fan Gifts

"If anyone's got a plan B, now would be a good time."

"Why am I always the bad guy?"

Fanning a man who's passed out with money.

Skipping Horse

"Actually, make that a double cream."

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

The Brothers Grime

'We're going to need to find a scapegoat.'

Trump Poutine

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

Dog in casino.

Beer Parasol.

US Credit: 'I'm down grading your credit rating...'

"I fell to the ground from a height of about two metres when I was born: My very first stunt!"

"Well, you were late and her boyfriend didn't turn up for their wedding, so....."

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

"I sold my soul for about a tenth of what the damn things are going for now."

'Joe has been partying hard!'

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

'More government surveillance!'

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

"My favorite part of the story was when Prince Charming kissed Sleeping Beauty and she totally rebooted."

'Here, we don't need a retirement plan. If you do your job as we want it, you'll directly go from your desk to hell.'

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."

'And we'll give you all the carcinogens you can eat.'