Situation Comedy Fans Gifts

Prisoner is treated to leg of lamb for dinner.

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

"Oh my gosh, honey! Look out!"

"That'll be five bucks."

"Cat World Domination Day June 24th"

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

Two fishermen land on stumps. Man says to other, 'Is that enough structure for ya?!'

'We were thinking of naming him after his daddy, but I don't really like the name, Old slap head.'

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."

'I was told you two have a love-hate relationship. Care to elaborate on that?'

Technique #54 airlines are adopting for handling excessive carry on luggage.

"Friends have been scribbling on my cast."

"You want to know why I drink?. . . I drink to forget!"

Standard & Poor

'Is your cabbage diet working darling?'

"Those are the lyrics? How embarrassing—I've been singing it wrong this whole time."

'It's a nicotine patch...I've been smoking too much.'

Top Ten New Year's Resolutions

Yakety-Yak

"Beer? I see you taught Roscoe to fetch?"

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

"Good news...turns out it was just your battery!"

An alternative theory as to why dinosaurs are extinct.

'According to this, you ate all the pies.'

'Let's face it George: we're not spring chickens anymore...'

'An this good luck charm is to commemorate when our turtle ran away. He's the one who took Jim's pinkie.'

Quick, follow that star

'More toys! The way you kids spend, you must think bananas grow on trees.'

"We don't use good and bad lists anymore. Now we have stupid, really stupid and completely nuts lists."

'The penguin is upset...'

'Your car's ready, but drive carefully for awhile. I had to give the student an 'F' for the work he did on it.'

'I don't care how comfortable you feel with me. This reels weird for a first date.'