Singles Humorist Gifts

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

"Canadian Mt. ‘Rush’more"

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

"This next one is my own quirky rendition of Berlioz's 'Symphonie Fantastique,' Movement 5, 'Dream of a Witches' Sabbath.'"

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

"I was going to play the Moonlight Sonata, but I forgot the key."

"Right now Arnold Schwarzenegger is doing sit-ups."

'That was close...hit me right in the wallet.'

"You look so beautiful, glistening in the moonlight."

"It's over, Martin. I've met someone with bigger cheeks."

"Yo, Ned Beatty, paddle harder if you ever want to kiss me again."

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

"Not now, my love. I'm feeling preminstrel."

"How barbaric! Females should be wooed by colourful displays, not fighting!"

"Thanks for calling it skinnydipping."

"I thought it would be appropriate to have a band playing as we went down."

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

Tunnel of Like.

Elevator Music

The Phantom Of The Garden

"They'll be expecting adagio. Go with the allegro."

Guitar pickin'

Opera singer singing to her partner who is wearing a gas mask on due to her bad breath.

Waiter in resturant sawing violin.

'PHWOAR! You should have seen her rear end when she sat on the piano. . . played 'TINK' and 'BOOM' at the same time!'

Double Saxophone

Daffodil bulbs

'Will you marry me, Gloria?'

Rap-scallions

"Why can’t this count as ‘date night’?"

It's not what's outside that interests me. It's what's inside!

Pay me not to pay 'Wonderwall'

'I love you, Howard, but let's not jump to conclusions.'