Single And Witty Gifts

The Loneliest Archaeologist

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

"Idea?" "No. Just a light bulb."

'Whoooa,MAN,check out this STORM! It's PELTING down!'

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

"I love it when your eyes blaze like that; you remind me of Moses."

Crow and fox

"Darling, do you ever worry that we're becoming some sort of Merchant-Ivory production?"

'I gotta bad feeling about this.'

Drunken singers in a public house

'Oil painting is fine, but I can't do watercolours, obviously...'

Jokes machine.

"Do excuse me, I've got a nuttiness allergy."

"Are we ‘still working’? No, we’re still eating. You, however, are ‘still working’—now get lost!"

LEMONADE, 'Actually, I hate places like this.'

'I understand you know how to treat a woman.'

Happy Hour 5-7. (Not really an hour, not really happy.) At last, truth in advertising.

The Algonquin Round Table

'He wanted to be remembered this way.'

Cold caller.

"Yes, it was 'love at first sight'. But, by the time I'd made my first opticians appointment we were already married."

When Stupid People Get an Idea

The Gilmore Girls

'The bar association barred me from going before the bar...So I came to a bar.'

Arabic Thief Salad - lashings of whipped cream...

Wedding - throw the bouquet and the little black book.

"Tell her I'm exercising my twenty-first amendment rights."

"Virginia Woolf meets 'Car Talk.'"

Bat out of Hell

"So, what is your star sign?"

'Sure you always catch bigger fish than me. Your arms are a foot longer than mine.'

'I'd like an 'Innuendo' please - a big one.'

Is this your father, little guy? No, lady, my father is a libel attorney, and you'll be hearing from him.

"Tom, we've started a little office pool on how long it'll take me to get your job. Want in?"

"Your Honor, I would like the record to state that Mr. Katzman is a 'hostile witness'."