Witty Romantic Gifts

"Yes I do like intelligent women - what a stupid question!"

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

"Bed Spread"

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

Sexual chemistry set

A woman is as young as she feels like admitting to.

Shakespeare loved a grammar joke

My other car has a bumper sticker that says this on it too.

'Did you really mean both me and a hippopotamus evolved from a tiny blob in the ocean?'

'He said he wasn't good enough for me, so I married him because he's the first man to realize that.'

I said, your bones ache because you’re old. I’m referring you to an archaeologist.

'Ms. Hatton, take a letter, a number and a hike...'

"He belongs to a lawyer."

(First signs) (A half loaf of bread, ... a jug and a half of wine, and thou beside me.)

'To err is human... but to forgive is against company policy!'

Sharp Eyes

Happy Hour 5-7. (Not really an hour, not really happy.) At last, truth in advertising.

You trip on it, you buy it.

'I respond to stimuli, therefore I ham.'

"What's 'ET' short for. . . ?"

'Oil painting is fine, but I can't do watercolours, obviously...'

'He never listened to his mother!'

"I got into the coffee for the wordplay."

'You've been faking it, haven't you?'

"I got you some flowers..watered them, too.".

'Looks like a love affair gone bad.'

Bagel problems.

"Yes, it was 'love at first sight'. But, by the time I'd made my first opticians appointment we were already married."

Bell Hop

CFL bulb and ice cream cone fall in love

'I'd better check it for punctuation before you give it to him.'

Male On Sunday

"It doesn't look much like a 'witty painting' now, does it sir?"

When Stupid People Get an Idea

Cold caller.