Humorous Romantics Gifts

"I had no idea a sexless marriage would involve so much reading."

This next song goes out to the girl who stole my heart and my guitar.

Robocop and Juliet.

You're the botanicals in my gin

Sexual chemistry set

'That was close...hit me right in the wallet.'

"You look so beautiful, glistening in the moonlight."

'I wouldn't kick her out of bed.'

"It's over, Martin. I've met someone with bigger cheeks."

"Honk if you love me!"

Tunnel of Like.

"How barbaric! Females should be wooed by colourful displays, not fighting!"

"Thanks for calling it skinnydipping."

'Sorry, but my car is a hybrid and I wouldn't accept anything less in a husband.'

“It’s the only way we can get him to kiss her.”

It's not what's outside that interests me. It's what's inside!

'I love you, Howard, but let's not jump to conclusions.'

'I'm looking for a card that says if I didn't get you this, I'd never hear the end of it.'

"I think it was good for me. Was it good for you?"

'Marry me, and make me the happiest man in the world.' 'You want BOTH?!'

Boy on father's knee

The stone is semi-precious, so I got you two.

'Did you fart, sweetie?'

"Or...we could suggest a three-way."

Dating in 2020

"It was the unsubstantiated rumours that attracted me to you in the first place."

'For the last time, Butchie, I love you but I'm not in love with you.'

Homophone Encounter

'Would you like to come in for a rejection?'

"It's perfect! You're a government redactor, and I'm a broadcast network word bleeper."

You're pig-headed, Louis, I like that in a man.

'It's hard finding a caring,sensitive and good looking man. Most of them already have boyfriends.'

"I never turn into a prince on a first date."

Frog Prince holds sign: 'Will work for kisses'.

'I hear they wrote their own vows.'