Witty Romantic Pillows

"Yes I do like intelligent women - what a stupid question!"

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

"Bed Spread"

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

Sexual chemistry set

A woman is as young as she feels like admitting to.

Shakespeare loved a grammar joke

My other car has a bumper sticker that says this on it too.

'He said he wasn't good enough for me, so I married him because he's the first man to realize that.'

'Did you really mean both me and a hippopotamus evolved from a tiny blob in the ocean?'

I said, your bones ache because you’re old. I’m referring you to an archaeologist.

'Ms. Hatton, take a letter, a number and a hike...'

(First signs) (A half loaf of bread, ... a jug and a half of wine, and thou beside me.)

"He belongs to a lawyer."

'To err is human... but to forgive is against company policy!'

Sharp Eyes

You trip on it, you buy it.

"What's 'ET' short for. . . ?"

'He never listened to his mother!'

'I respond to stimuli, therefore I ham.'

'Oil painting is fine, but I can't do watercolours, obviously...'

"I got into the coffee for the wordplay."

'You've been faking it, haven't you?'

When Stupid People Get an Idea

Bagel problems.

"It doesn't look much like a 'witty painting' now, does it sir?"

'Sorry, but I do not recall that incident either.'

'I'd better check it for punctuation before you give it to him.'

Cold caller.

CFL bulb and ice cream cone fall in love

Bell Hop

"I got you some flowers..watered them, too.".

In 1682 in a remote cave in the Ural Mountains, Heinrick Glaston discovers irony.

'Looks like a love affair gone bad.'

"Yes, it was 'love at first sight'. But, by the time I'd made my first opticians appointment we were already married."