Witty Charmer Pillows

'Keep in mind I'm beautiful on the inside.'

'I've always been a bit of a ladies' man.'

Bangers and Mash

"Idea?" "No. Just a light bulb."

"Bed Spread"

"And finally, I'd like to take any questions from the floor."

"I love it when your eyes blaze like that; you remind me of Moses."

Crow and fox

"Darling, do you ever worry that we're becoming some sort of Merchant-Ivory production?"

'Ms. Hatton, take a letter, a number and a hike...'

'Do you come here often?'

Jokes machine.

"Do excuse me, I've got a nuttiness allergy."

"Are we ‘still working’? No, we’re still eating. You, however, are ‘still working’—now get lost!"

LEMONADE, 'Actually, I hate places like this.'

The Algonquin Round Table

"So, what is your star sign?"

"Virginia Woolf meets 'Car Talk.'"

'The bar association barred me from going before the bar...So I came to a bar.'

"Tell her I'm exercising my twenty-first amendment rights."

"It doesn't look much like a 'witty painting' now, does it sir?"

I conduct comprehensive surveys - I ask my girlfriend.

Bat out of Hell

'Sorry, but I do not recall that incident either.'

A guy tries his luck at the water cooler.

In 1682 in a remote cave in the Ural Mountains, Heinrick Glaston discovers irony.

'I'd like an 'Innuendo' please - a big one.'

"You have a lot of unresolved anger and it's settled in your hat."

"Have you ever licked cream off a woman's body?"

Spiv

My army drill instructors license plate is HUP-2-3-4.

It started with a giggling sound in the suspension, then a noise in the ventilator, and then...

"Try the fish. It's brain food"