Witty Banterer Pillows

'I'd like an 'Innuendo' please - a big one.'

David Letterman

Smart Ass - Wise Ass

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

"Idea?" "No. Just a light bulb."

"I love it when your eyes blaze like that; you remind me of Moses."

Crow and fox

"Darling, do you ever worry that we're becoming some sort of Merchant-Ivory production?"

'I understand you know how to treat a woman.'

"I'll have a man overboard!"

'Talking of of big tops have you seen the new barmaid at the Green Dragon?'

Happy Hour 5-7. (Not really an hour, not really happy.) At last, truth in advertising.

LEMONADE, 'Actually, I hate places like this.'

"Do excuse me, I've got a nuttiness allergy."

"Are we ‘still working’? No, we’re still eating. You, however, are ‘still working’—now get lost!"

Jokes machine.

The Algonquin Round Table

"I never make the same mistake twice. I make it 5-6 times, just to be sure."

When Stupid People Get an Idea

"Tell her I'm exercising my twenty-first amendment rights."

The Gilmore Girls

"So, what is your star sign?"

Bat out of Hell

Heart To Heart

'The bar association barred me from going before the bar...So I came to a bar.'

Cold caller.

A lesson in wit

"Remember - you have sharp teeth and claws, but he has sarcasm."

"Virginia Woolf meets 'Car Talk.'"

'Sure you always catch bigger fish than me. Your arms are a foot longer than mine.'

"Is there a humorist in the house?"

Quizzo tonight! Win a tee shirt! Trivia is my middle name, but I have all the tee shirts I need. So, tell me something: Are there Quizzo groupies?

"O.K., your mouth may be clean but I'll bet your mind is filthy."

"Your Honor, I would like the record to state that Mr. Katzman is a 'hostile witness'."

'The part I like best about sex is when I light a cigarette and say next.'