Witty Banter Buddy Pillows

Compulsive liars annual reunion: No, I couldn't make it either.

Smart Ass - Wise Ass

'A cheeky red?'

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

Bangers and Mash

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

"I think it stopped breathing."

Peach flirting with a banana.

"Touché"

"What's a nice girl like you doing in a bubble like this?"

"You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!"

'I was in the right place at the right time once, and then I realized it wasn't ME.'

'Talking of of big tops have you seen the new barmaid at the Green Dragon?'

"I'll have a man overboard!"

'Ted, isn't it about time you sorted out your deer-gut?'

"I never make the same mistake twice. I make it 5-6 times, just to be sure."

"Remember - you have sharp teeth and claws, but he has sarcasm."

"Is that neat whisky?"

"'Ere, mate - you look like a right muppett..!"

Heart To Heart

'That guy is SO tacky.'

A lesson in wit

'Just as I suspected, guys - looks like we'be got ourselves an undercover wine drinker.'

When Stupid People Get an Idea

The Gilmore Girls

Cold caller.

'You say the pains in my left leg are caused by old age. But doctor my right leg is just as old and it doesn't hurt at all!'

'It was a gift.'

'I'd like an 'Innuendo' please - a big one.'

'Sure you always catch bigger fish than me. Your arms are a foot longer than mine.'

"Tom, we've started a little office pool on how long it'll take me to get your job. Want in?"

"When's the last time you shaved, little buddy?"

'Nobody goes there any more.' - 'It's too crowded.'

"So you're saying if I wasn't so smart, I'd have more friends?"