Witty Banter Buddy Pillows

Compulsive liars annual reunion: No, I couldn't make it either.

Smart Ass - Wise Ass

Give us a drink that says "we're in love." Oh no, not again. Today's Special. Latte + 1hr web $12.50. We're back together. We're celebrating. Give us my darling pudding pie's favorite drink. A cinnamon mocha latte with a peppermint lollipop swizzle stick. Excuse me?! That is not my favorite drink ... dear. My favorite drink is a cinnamon mocha latte with a spearmint lollipop swizzle stick ... dear. I am so sorry ... snookums. How could I have possibly been so heartless and thoughtless as to con

'A cheeky red?'

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

Bangers and Mash

"Touché"

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

"I think it stopped breathing."

Peach flirting with a banana.

"What's a nice girl like you doing in a bubble like this?"

"You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!"

"I'll have a man overboard!"

'Talking of of big tops have you seen the new barmaid at the Green Dragon?'

Happy Hour 5-7. (Not really an hour, not really happy.) At last, truth in advertising.

'Ted, isn't it about time you sorted out your deer-gut?'

'I was in the right place at the right time once, and then I realized it wasn't ME.'

"I never make the same mistake twice. I make it 5-6 times, just to be sure."

A lesson in wit

'Just as I suspected, guys - looks like we'be got ourselves an undercover wine drinker.'

"'Ere, mate - you look like a right muppett..!"

Heart To Heart

The Gilmore Girls

'That guy is SO tacky.'

Cold caller.

When Stupid People Get an Idea

"Is that neat whisky?"

"Remember - you have sharp teeth and claws, but he has sarcasm."

'You say the pains in my left leg are caused by old age. But doctor my right leg is just as old and it doesn't hurt at all!'

'It was a gift.'

'Sure you always catch bigger fish than me. Your arms are a foot longer than mine.'

'I'd like an 'Innuendo' please - a big one.'

"When's the last time you shaved, little buddy?"

"O.K., your mouth may be clean but I'll bet your mind is filthy."

"So you're saying if I wasn't so smart, I'd have more friends?"