Witty Banter Enthusiast Pillows

'I don't eat organic foods. At my age I can use all the preservatives I can get.'

'What's a knee like yours doing in a joint like this?'

Smart Ass - Wise Ass

"Yes, I believe in love at first sight..."

'If you're God's gift to women, I'd rather just have the money.'

"I never make the same mistake twice. I make it 5-6 times, just to be sure."

'With Myrna and I, it was love at first slight.'

Clancy Strip:Male Friendship

'Maybe my dad can't whip your dad, but he's very litigious!'

I say if life gives you tapens, make tapenade.

'May I see your telephone number?'

'Which do you find more attractive, incompetence or belligerence?'

'We don't want these ugly worms anymore. Try it with roasted beef with red cabbage and mashed potatoes, some bottles of Beaujolais and for dessert strawberry ice and espresso.'

'I never know when you're joking!'

'My birthday? The 30th January. What year? Every year Sir.'

'Will you look at that? Six weeks fastidious preparation and he's destroyed by a single well-placed zinger.'

"What's the soup of the day?"

"Your hair is a mess, your make-up is smudged, your clothes are all sweaty...."

Know-it-alls

"It's always a battle of wits with them, and I arrive unarmed."

"Say, George, do you recall ever having a personality?"

'Nonsense, Frank! Can't pay them! Why, before we were married you told me you were well off.' 'So I was. But I didn't know it!'

Two hunters examining the latest kill

"I just got accepted to Yale." "I'd jump up and down for joy but my boobs are just way too big for that nonsense."

"My wife doesn't understand me. So she probably wouldn't understand you either."

"No, thanks. I'm just here for the nuts."

"Yeah, I know why you pulled me over. But, c'mon. I'm down to half a pack a day and I'm tryin' to quit."

'A cheeky red?'

'Think how all that chatting is affecting global warming.'

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

'What worried me most is identity theft.'

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

Pretty girls listen patiently. They know you'll soon get tongue-tied and won't be able to talk anymore.

Two Men Discuss Ministers.

"Touché"