Witty Banter Enthusiasts Pillows

'I don't think of you as a sex object, Irene -- I think of you as two sex objects!'

'Sorry, I don't carry cash, I'm married!'

'You see, the difference between you and me is I'm a social drinker and you're an idiot!'

Smart Ass - Wise Ass

'A cheeky red?'

'Think how all that chatting is affecting global warming.'

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

'What worried me most is identity theft.'

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

Two Men Discuss Ministers.

Pretty girls listen patiently. They know you'll soon get tongue-tied and won't be able to talk anymore.

"Touché"

"What's a nice girl like you doing in a bubble like this?"

"He looks like you, and he isn't even born yet."

'If you must know, yes, I do sometimes fake purring.'

"Events seem to be headed in the right direction. Unfortunately, it's not taking me with it."

"Excuse me, Jerrod, but I'm leaving you for Paul's competing narrative."

"My client greatly regrets the incident with the carving knife. However, in her defense, 14 people were coming for Thanksgiving and her husband, who had just one job to do, bought only 8 rolls."

'Talking of of big tops have you seen the new barmaid at the Green Dragon?'

'You've got us backward. I'm Vinnie, and my short and subtle brother is Vignette.'

"Meanwhile in Dogtown... Put your tongue back in your mouth. And pull up your pants. That’s not what your mom said last night."

"I never make the same mistake twice. I make it 5-6 times, just to be sure."

I conduct comprehensive surveys - I ask my girlfriend.

Cold caller.

The Gilmore Girls

A lesson in wit

"I work from home because I can’t stand the sight of idiots." "Is that why you got rid of all our mirrors?"

The Art of Bantering!

Heart To Heart

"Remember - you have sharp teeth and claws, but he has sarcasm."

When Stupid People Get an Idea

"Hey Eric. Do you think they're silicone implants?"

"Have you heard of Murphy's Law 2.0? It's anything that could possibly go wrong often does...as well as a thing or two that couldn't possibly go wrong."

'Sure you always catch bigger fish than me. Your arms are a foot longer than mine.'