Witty Charmer T-Shirts

'Keep in mind I'm beautiful on the inside.'

'I've always been a bit of a ladies' man.'

"Bed Spread"

"Idea?" "No. Just a light bulb."

Bangers and Mash

"And finally, I'd like to take any questions from the floor."

"I love it when your eyes blaze like that; you remind me of Moses."

My diagnosis? Restless tongue syndrome.

Crow and fox

"Darling, do you ever worry that we're becoming some sort of Merchant-Ivory production?"

'Ms. Hatton, take a letter, a number and a hike...'

LEMONADE, 'Actually, I hate places like this.'

"Are we ‘still working’? No, we’re still eating. You, however, are ‘still working’—now get lost!"

Jokes machine.

'Do you come here often?'

"Do excuse me, I've got a nuttiness allergy."

'I understand you know how to treat a woman.'

The Algonquin Round Table

'The bar association barred me from going before the bar...So I came to a bar.'

In 1682 in a remote cave in the Ural Mountains, Heinrick Glaston discovers irony.

"So, what is your star sign?"

A guy tries his luck at the water cooler.

"It doesn't look much like a 'witty painting' now, does it sir?"

"Virginia Woolf meets 'Car Talk.'"

I conduct comprehensive surveys - I ask my girlfriend.

'Sorry, but I do not recall that incident either.'

Bat out of Hell

"Tell her I'm exercising my twenty-first amendment rights."

'I'd like an 'Innuendo' please - a big one.'

Spiv

Quizzo tonight! Win a tee shirt! Trivia is my middle name, but I have all the tee shirts I need. So, tell me something: Are there Quizzo groupies?

It started with a giggling sound in the suspension, then a noise in the ventilator, and then...

My army drill instructors license plate is HUP-2-3-4.

Is this your father, little guy? No, lady, my father is a libel attorney, and you'll be hearing from him.

"Have you ever licked cream off a woman's body?"