Cheerful Charmer Pillows

"What do I bring to the company? I'm relentlessly cheerful and able to handle pressure."

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

Dick was the kind of guy who wanted everyone to know it was his birthday.

You're the olive in my martini

'I don't think my homework is very good. My dog refused to eat it.'

'May I have the key to your heart?'

'Do you come here often?'

A guy tries his luck at the water cooler.

Sticking out tongue

I conduct comprehensive surveys - I ask my girlfriend.

"As fans we are smart enough to understand the game, but not smart enough to realize how unimportant it really is."

The trouble was she never knew where to draw the line

'I promised my Dad I'd be home by ten but I didn't say if that was P.M. or A.M..'

"Warm and rich, fresh and bright, with depth and intensity. Not the wine, you."

Footballer scores for the first time and wears T-Shirt reading: 'No longer a virgin.'

Rosie Cheeks

Women rush to man with 'I heart emotions' t-shirt.

"Your dump or mine..?"

Nice Old Ladies Tend to Look at the Bright Side of Things: 'As kids my brother and I took turns beating each other up!' 'Well, I think it's wonderful when kids take turns!'

'You know how they say, no matter how bad you got it, there's always someone worse off? Well I'm that someone.'

Snake Charmer

'I adore a man of many parts.'

"Good morning, world!"

'Look what I found, Dad - Can I keep her?'

'Do you have anything that smells like wedding bells?'

"I think Wendy likes me... she kept the spitwad I threw at her!"

'I suppose you want to be served.' - 'No, but I wouldn't mind being included in the conversation.'

'Time's up, chuckles.'

"You are a very beauty woman. May I buy you a coke?"

Clean Fill Wanted

'Keep in mind I'm beautiful on the inside.'

"You'll love Alex. He's got a lovely sense of humour."