Playful Charmer Pillows

"You are a very beauty woman. May I buy you a coke?"

Christmas Bra.

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

Dick was the kind of guy who wanted everyone to know it was his birthday.

"The TV remote? So, I decide what we watch tonight?"

"I said I'd give you the world, didn't I?"

My diagnosis? Restless tongue syndrome.

Rude Snowpeople

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

'Just in case there is an accident.'

'Shuck me.'

Sorry, I can't talk right now, I'm giving my baby a bottle.

'I don't think my homework is very good. My dog refused to eat it.'

'Do you come here often?'

A guy tries his luck at the water cooler.

I conduct comprehensive surveys - I ask my girlfriend.

"May we see your kids' menu please?"

Cupid

"Why would I care if you're not a pure breed? That's a human concern! Sure, I'll go out with you tonight..."

Sticking out tongue

"Wait. Let it breathe."

The trouble was she never knew where to draw the line

'I promised my Dad I'd be home by ten but I didn't say if that was P.M. or A.M..'

Footballer scores for the first time and wears T-Shirt reading: 'No longer a virgin.'

'Big Issue!'

Having noticed a hot-looking security woman, Mort quickly penned a note and stuck it in his briefcase.

"Your dump or mine..?"

"Warm and rich, fresh and bright, with depth and intensity. Not the wine, you."

Rosie Cheeks

Women rush to man with 'I heart emotions' t-shirt.

Adult Magician

"You have a date with Tim Jones? Really? You're so wicked: he's at least a day younger than you!"

'You've played Pooh sticks right?'

'Look what I found, Dad - Can I keep her?'

'Do you have anything that smells like wedding bells?'