Cheerful Charmer Prints

"What do I bring to the company? I'm relentlessly cheerful and able to handle pressure."

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

Dick was the kind of guy who wanted everyone to know it was his birthday.

My diagnosis? Restless tongue syndrome.

You're the olive in my martini

'I don't think my homework is very good. My dog refused to eat it.'

'May I have the key to your heart?'

'Do you come here often?'

I conduct comprehensive surveys - I ask my girlfriend.

Sticking out tongue

A guy tries his luck at the water cooler.

"Wait. Let it breathe."

"As fans we are smart enough to understand the game, but not smart enough to realize how unimportant it really is."

The trouble was she never knew where to draw the line

Footballer scores for the first time and wears T-Shirt reading: 'No longer a virgin.'

Women rush to man with 'I heart emotions' t-shirt.

Nice Old Ladies Tend to Look at the Bright Side of Things: 'As kids my brother and I took turns beating each other up!' 'Well, I think it's wonderful when kids take turns!'

"Warm and rich, fresh and bright, with depth and intensity. Not the wine, you."

'I promised my Dad I'd be home by ten but I didn't say if that was P.M. or A.M..'

"Your dump or mine..?"

'Big Issue!'

Rosie Cheeks

Having noticed a hot-looking security woman, Mort quickly penned a note and stuck it in his briefcase.

"I think Wendy likes me... she kept the spitwad I threw at her!"

'Look what I found, Dad - Can I keep her?'

'I adore a man of many parts.'

'Do you have anything that smells like wedding bells?'

'You know how they say, no matter how bad you got it, there's always someone worse off? Well I'm that someone.'

Snake Charmer

"Good morning, world!"

'I suppose you want to be served.' - 'No, but I wouldn't mind being included in the conversation.'

"You are a very beauty woman. May I buy you a coke?"

'Keep in mind I'm beautiful on the inside.'

'Time's up, chuckles.'

"You'll love Alex. He's got a lovely sense of humour."