Single And Ready To Mingle Pillows

Dating Service: Take a phone number.

Just married and Just Single and Happy.

Auctioneer: 'Sold to the lady whose husband just walked out!'

"I don't know 'where I've been all of your life', but wherever it was, I wish I was there now!"

"The best things in life are free. The rest are married."

"Don't wait too long for Mr. Right or you'll end up with Mr. What's left!"

Wedding - throw the bouquet and the little black book.

Cat Love Ads: "Are you; 'Stubborn, lazy, unfaithful and psychopathic...with no sense of humour?""

"At this point, I think a rich lightweight would be fine."

"Being a refrigerator magnet is fine, but I wish, for just one day, I could be a chick magnet."

Susie's single status had spread to her socks.

"I'm a free woman. Edgar tried to cross the road."

'Complements of the big smelly gentleman.'

ACME COMPUTER DATING SERVICE, 'She should be attractive, intelligenty, charming, and funny, or best offer.

He's Tasty!

Bachelor Cake

Boyfriend Shirt.

"hmm....I'd like to tick her box."

'See, I told you my dad would like you.'

"I used to think maybe I was the problem but then I realized she was just a bitch."

"Note to self...'NICE APPS' is not a good opening line."

"Okay, I'm intrigued."

"He's your type--gorgeous, successful, and totally unavailable."

"Is there a doctor in the house...hopefully unmarried?"

"So, when are you gonna find a woman?"

'Forget it, they're gay.'

"Right swipe, right swipe, right swipe..."

"Wanna watch a movie, Doll?"

First singles bar! 'I ain't married!'

Northern chat up lines: 'You don't sweat much for a fat lass'

"Will you stop doing that please? Isn't it obvious to you that I just don't fancy him?!"

I knitted him for you..

'I would like to find at least ONE bar that isn't a meat market.'

The Bachelord

Single and Offended