Sick Day Expert Gifts

"He's never had a day off work through illness. He always stretches it to a week!"

"I won't be in today. I've decided to live off the land."

"Here's the deal, throw me back and I won't text your boss telling him you called in sick to fish."

"If I've timed this right, symptoms should start at exactly 9 a.m. Monday."

"I don't feel like going to school. Isn't that a flu-like symptom?"

'Another sick note from your employer !'

'Can't come in to work today. I'm in bed with a nasty bug.'

Remedy for the incurable romantic...

"You better take Teddy's temperature too....he was awfully sick this morning!"

'Tell the doctor that I'm too sick to see him.'

'Have you heard of the Phrase,'Survival of the fittest'?' 'Uh-ho!'

"I don't think I'm going to be in today, I got a bit wrecked at the weekend."

'If you have a toothache, take the day off, you would be useless at work anyway...'

"How am I? I'm just trying to et over the flu in time for allergy season."

"Fever, chills and dizziness. Sounds like you have a Math test at work today."

"I've lost my voice. Is it contagious?"

I can't come in today. I haven't got chronic diarrhoea!

'I couldn't decide what to wear to work so I just didn't go.'

'This is exhausting, I quit.'

'I'm sorry, Mr. Harris is not here. In fact nobody's here. I think it's a staff infection!'

Woman watches TV wrapped up in warm clothing.

'I'm still pretty unwell, I'm not sure if I'll be in the office tomorrow.'

"I'm worried about him, he's been binge hate-watching for three straight days, now!"

'Has there ever been such a sickly group of rugged individualists.'

"I forgot to call in dead."

Go home and take your cold with you.

'No, you don't have fever. You have to go to school.'

'The poor lamb's having a rest, Mum, exhausted after putting a new toilet roll on the holder...'

'If I work at home and I'm sick, do I have to go to the office?'

'Mr. Breeding won't be in today - so you people at the office have fun.'

"It's your work. Are you still sick or what?"

'...And then, on my way to get a second opinion....'

"It's not the flu. I got a very bad case of tired blood."

"Walt won't be at work today - he's flipped on his back!"

'Take ten days off work.'