Sick Day Enthusiast Gifts

"I've used up all my sick days so I'm calling in dead."

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

Lazy Octopus

American Idle.

Bill and Lester have a 'Hay Day'.

Cat and mouse

'Some dogs are meant to be working dogs and some aren't.'

To be honest, I'd just as soon as lay in the yard, but he so looks forward to it.

Catatonic

"I won't be in today. I've decided to live off the land."

'Just look at him. The face that lunched on a thousand chips.'

"I've had a lot of exercise today! I jumped to several conclusions, ran my mouth on the phone, and I just cycled through 500 cable channels!"

'I've never known a dog who gets tired so quickly.'

Gifts from the House of Low Goals.

'If it's a universal remote, how come it doesn't work on the refrigerator?'

"Here's the deal, throw me back and I won't text your boss telling him you called in sick to fish."

"Today let's work on changing channels, drinking with a mouthful of food, and yelling at the TV all at the same time."

How the goat got square eyes.

"Do you want to order in or wither and die?"

"If I've timed this right, symptoms should start at exactly 9 a.m. Monday."

"I don't feel like going to school. Isn't that a flu-like symptom?"

"It's days like this that make me glad I became a teacher."

'Some blue-arsed fly you turned out to be.'

'Don't get up. ... I've got it!'

Inactive wear store.

"Will I still be able to not exercise?"

'Another sick note from your employer !'

'Ironically, sportswear is the most comfortable clothing for doing nothing in.'

"He's never had a day off work through illness. He always stretches it to a week!"

The Procrastinatorium.

'Can't come in to work today. I'm in bed with a nasty bug.'

"We've lost the remote."

"I'm sort of hesitant to remind him that his work-from-home days are over starting Monday."

It started with elasticated trousers and daytime TV...

Bummer Time Streaming