Sick Day Enthusiast Gifts

"I've used up all my sick days so I'm calling in dead."

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

Lazy Octopus

Cat and mouse

Bill and Lester have a 'Hay Day'.

Catatonic

'Some dogs are meant to be working dogs and some aren't.'

To be honest, I'd just as soon as lay in the yard, but he so looks forward to it.

"I won't be in today. I've decided to live off the land."

'Just look at him. The face that lunched on a thousand chips.'

'I've never known a dog who gets tired so quickly.'

"I've had a lot of exercise today! I jumped to several conclusions, ran my mouth on the phone, and I just cycled through 500 cable channels!"

Gifts from the House of Low Goals.

'If it's a universal remote, how come it doesn't work on the refrigerator?'

"Here's the deal, throw me back and I won't text your boss telling him you called in sick to fish."

How the goat got square eyes.

"Do you want to order in or wither and die?"

"If I've timed this right, symptoms should start at exactly 9 a.m. Monday."

"I don't feel like going to school. Isn't that a flu-like symptom?"

Inactive wear store.

'Some blue-arsed fly you turned out to be.'

"It's days like this that make me glad I became a teacher."

'Don't get up. ... I've got it!'

"Will I still be able to not exercise?"

'Another sick note from your employer !'

"He's never had a day off work through illness. He always stretches it to a week!"

'Ironically, sportswear is the most comfortable clothing for doing nothing in.'

The Procrastinatorium.

'Can't come in to work today. I'm in bed with a nasty bug.'

"We've lost the remote."

It started with elasticated trousers and daytime TV...

"I'm too lazy to chase cars. Thanks to phones, I now just track them."

"I'm sort of hesitant to remind him that his work-from-home days are over starting Monday."

A slow-moving predator, the couch only needs to eat every few years.