Sick Day Connoisseur Gifts

"Nigel Trubshaw won't be in work today, he's got lazy swine flu."

"I won't be in today. I've decided to live off the land."

"Here's the deal, throw me back and I won't text your boss telling him you called in sick to fish."

"Today let's work on changing channels, drinking with a mouthful of food, and yelling at the TV all at the same time."

"If I've timed this right, symptoms should start at exactly 9 a.m. Monday."

"I don't feel like going to school. Isn't that a flu-like symptom?"

Couch Potatoes

'Another sick note from your employer !'

"He's never had a day off work through illness. He always stretches it to a week!"

'Can't come in to work today. I'm in bed with a nasty bug.'

"It's the naps you don't take that you regret the most."

"You better take Teddy's temperature too....he was awfully sick this morning!"

"I'm sort of hesitant to remind him that his work-from-home days are over starting Monday."

"I'm too lazy to chase cars. Thanks to phones, I now just track them."

Labradoodle/Labradon't-le

Our hero rounds the bases to the bathroom, refrigerator, cupboard and slides safely into home!

'Have you heard of the Phrase,'Survival of the fittest'?' 'Uh-ho!'

'Tell the doctor that I'm too sick to see him.'

'Inactive wear'

"Fever, chills and dizziness. Sounds like you have a Math test at work today."

Laundry baskets labelled 'pajamas' and 'not pajamas'.

"How am I? I'm just trying to et over the flu in time for allergy season."

"I don't think I'm going to be in today, I got a bit wrecked at the weekend."

"Fetch? You fetch it - you're nearer to it than I am."

"I think I'll sleep in tonight!"

'If you have a toothache, take the day off, you would be useless at work anyway...'

'I don't think that lifting the remote control counts as exercise!'

"I've lost my voice. Is it contagious?"

"I think my couch potatoes have evolved."

I can't come in today. I haven't got chronic diarrhoea!

"Being a lazy slob is part of my identity. Keep on nagging and I'll report you to our diversity officer!"

'I'm still pretty unwell, I'm not sure if I'll be in the office tomorrow.'

If all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy, we must be two of the sharpest guys around!

Sloth on a hammock.

'I'm sorry, Mr. Harris is not here. In fact nobody's here. I think it's a staff infection!'