Showbiz Fan Gifts

"When you changed your magic word, did you remember to include 2 upper case letters, 2 numbers, and a special character?"

"So what'll it be, dentists on ice, or extreme cabinet making?"

Curtain call

'Oops, wrong sequence.'

Trumpets Green

"Here's the deal, boys. We need to see a little more bickering. We're doing a Reality Show."

Magic Trick

'I'm going solo.'

'I knew you were going to say that.'

"Let me do the talking!"

Elvis impersonator, managed by Col. Parker's nephew, Eddie.

Distinguished actor in between glorious career and glowing obituaries.

'Fang, what do you think the chances are that I'll marry that girl second from the end on 'Deal or No Deal'?'

The Magician world's version of Fluffy dice.

'Is there an elvis in the building?!'

'Sir, I'm an estate agent. Not a showbiz agent.'

Rabbit in giant top hat says: 'I had a word with the RSPCA about my cramped working conditions.'

'Moles? Nah - Sheila Hancock keeps popping up everywhere.'

Showbiz Awards

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

'No. . . I'll never spend £400 on a haircut. . .'

Super Bowl Halftime Show Barbra Streisand reads from her memoir.

"I love being your agent, Nick, but the guys making the really big bucks now are the managers. Let me be your manager."

"I mean the Saturday Night Live president, not the lousy one."

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

"We both see Ben as this summer's breakout child."

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

'Don't ask questions, Ralph, just tell me who you'd rather look like - Sean Connery or Robert Redford.'

Hooray for Bollywood!

Music Hall Dancers

'I'm a star!'

'It's one of the candidates for baptism. Wants to know if he can hold the hand that shook Elvis's hand above the water.'

Parents start infant on the way to fame.

"Is it 'Measure once, cut twice?' Or 'Cut once, then measure?' Or maybe it's..."

'I'm not a magician, but I do keep live doves in my pants.'