Showbiz Fan T-Shirts

"So what'll it be, dentists on ice, or extreme cabinet making?"

Curtain call

'Oops, wrong sequence.'

Trumpets Green

"Here's the deal, boys. We need to see a little more bickering. We're doing a Reality Show."

Magic Trick

'I knew you were going to say that.'

"Let me do the talking!"

Distinguished actor in between glorious career and glowing obituaries.

The Magician world's version of Fluffy dice.

'Sir, I'm an estate agent. Not a showbiz agent.'

Rabbit in giant top hat says: 'I had a word with the RSPCA about my cramped working conditions.'

'Moles? Nah - Sheila Hancock keeps popping up everywhere.'

Showbiz Awards

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

"We both see Ben as this summer's breakout child."

"I love being your agent, Nick, but the guys making the really big bucks now are the managers. Let me be your manager."

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

"I mean the Saturday Night Live president, not the lousy one."

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

'Don't ask questions, Ralph, just tell me who you'd rather look like - Sean Connery or Robert Redford.'

Hooray for Bollywood!

Music Hall Dancers

'I'm a star!'

Hollywood producer.

'I'm not a magician, but I do keep live doves in my pants.'

The 24-Hour Celebrities Doing Something Stupid Channel.

Cleaner cleaning under the feet of the dancers as they perform

"Is it 'Measure once, cut twice?' Or 'Cut once, then measure?' Or maybe it's..."

"WIFI, Amazon, credit cards. Pretty much every password is named after me."

Animal Actors

"When did you first notice you were larger than life?"

'What a strange episode -- they just voted Ricardo Montalban off the island!'

TV stage door

"Face it - in this town, either you're a star or you're just another brown dwarf."