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Great weather we're having today. I guess. Speaking of weather, did you hear that the Ask Sadie ratings are through the roof? House of Java.net Cybercafe. When people want to brag, any segue will do. Speaking of segues, I'm awesome. HOJ.

Super Bowl Halftime Show Barbra Streisand reads from her memoir.

Academy Awards

Need a hand.

For the millionth time, Ice-T wondered what was the point of being an award-winning rapper/actor if he couldn't even get a dang coffee when he wanted one.

"Have we got a show for you!"

'Singing and dancing no problem...but I don't do nude scenes.'

Pantomime dame: 'Has anyone seen my successful TV and film career?' Audience: 'It's behind you!'

The 24-Hour Celebrities Doing Something Stupid Channel.

"Those who can can, dance."

"Why do you suppose they call it the green room?"

Showbiz Awards

Astral Projection

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

"Here's the deal, boys. We need to see a little more bickering. We're doing a Reality Show."

Book Shop Plot Spoilers

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

"We both see Ben as this summer's breakout child."

"I love being your agent, Nick, but the guys making the really big bucks now are the managers. Let me be your manager."

Music Hall Dancers

"Is it 'Measure once, cut twice?' Or 'Cut once, then measure?' Or maybe it's..."

'I'm a star!'

Hollywood producer.

Cleaner cleaning under the feet of the dancers as they perform

Parents start infant on the way to fame.

'It's one of the candidates for baptism. Wants to know if he can hold the hand that shook Elvis's hand above the water.'

'I'm not a magician, but I do keep live doves in my pants.'

Opening night at the circus: "How's everyone's jitters?"

'Ok, Bachelor number 2: What's your idea of a perfect first date?'

Animal Actors

Bette Midler

Haywatch

Morgue - "Welcome to 'Celebrity Autopsy'"

'Call you back - I'm with my agent.'

"Face it - in this town, either you're a star or you're just another brown dwarf."